They say...

They say that scent is strongly tied to memory, i believe this to be SOOOOO true!!! Today as i was gathering up my parcels, and about to leave the grocerystore, i smelled soemthing. I cant exactly put my finger on it but i belieive it was the cold air( yes it has a smell) and car fumes. It sent me back many many years. TO CHristmas time. Back to the parkinglot of the Regent Mall. We would have been there for way longer than i wanted to have been. Didnt Sarah and mom realize tonight we were getting our tree??? Mom digs in her purse at the car, as we stand freezing she looks up with a panicked sound in her voice "my keys?!?!" "MOOOOM!!!" we say lightheartedly. She of course sees them and unlocks the door. We drive through the "traffic" and pick up my dad from the office, or the Police Station where he had gotten called at the last minute. He gets in he car and we head to the tree lot, but not in silence, we are all singing our favorite christmas carols. We are by no means a grand choir but the sound of our voices brings me more pleasure than the sound of any famouse symphony. We arrive at the lot and the hunt for that perfect tree begins. I run to all the little trees and say in a linus voice " i never thought it was a bad little tree." Mom knows exactly which one will look best in the house, and always has a way of finding it. We all look at it and know its OUR tree. We load it into the car and take right home where it will "settle" in the toy room. Tommorrow night we will decorate it. I lookforward to that night jsut as much as the night b4. We put some CDs in the big brown stereo, and there is Eggnog, hot chocooate, cookies, and cashews, and of course a sense of excitment. Mom puts the lights on, taking a step back and squinting every so often. I am getting impatient and dont understand how it can take that long to put on lights. After what seems like ages she is finally finished. We then are able to put on the decorations. We all have our signature orniments. Sarah and i have our angles, and dad has the musical instruments. The trimming of the tree signifies the comencement of a great season. A season of love, happines, family and YES the annual Board party. In a few weeks we all sit around that tree and read the christmas storey and have an awesome day. One where dad doesnt have to go to work, and he stays in is pjs all morning. A day where we laugh and love, and cherish one of the greatest gifts we had that year...eachother.

Just a thought

So i was watching TV today as i ate my lunch and i saw and add about poverty. It said that every 3 seconds a child dies from poverty. It was sad yes but didnt hit me until just now as i opened up my blog. I am very quick to complain. i complain about what clothes i do or do not have, i complain that my apartment is small and isnt as nice as i would have liked. We all do it. But do we ever stop to think about those who are way less fortunate than us? At least i have a place to live, at least i have more than one outfit, and i have clothes that are weather appropriate. It is really sad how much we as a socitey takes for granted. Im not saying that we should all give up everything that we have, and live with as little as we can. Only keeping 2 outfits per season, or selling our cars houses and electronics. But maybe we should just stop and appreciate all that we do have.

Life is short

I sat today at a local pizza joint discussing with a friend how fast time flies. We commented on how we found it hard to believe that we're in 3rd year university and yet it only seems like yesterday that we were in high school. This discussion really got me thinking. I looked back over the 2 1/2 years and realized that there was so much that I wanted to do but never did. It also made me think of the things I want to do in life, and how life isn't gonna wait for me. If I don't jump on board it WILL go on with out me! I think its important sometimes for us to realize this and to take action. Maybe you can't fly to Paris and buy real French bagette just because you've always wanted to. But perhaps you could email a friend you haven't heard from in a while and tell them you've missed them. Give that cute guy/girl from your College and Career group your#. Or maybe its a matter of calling a family member and telling them u love them, even if some times you don't show it. Sometimes we fear stepping out of our comfort zone. Doing anythign that could ruffle the feathers, what if it all goes bad? Well like a game, you can't win if you dont play. Who knows what might become of your venture. Just remeber life is too short to hesitate, its your life, no one else can live it for u!

All in the Family

I spin around then drop to the floor shouting "guys! guys! Who am I??" we all begin to laugh. Our laughter renders us paralyzed. Im laughing soo hard I cant move. As we calm ourselves down I am able to rise only to have us remember something else sending us into another fit of laughs. This is what I will rember most about holidays with my family . We love to tell stories and reminisce. We Love to laugh and recall the funny things one of us has done. The outsider would sit there and look at us as though we were nuts as we laugh hysterically, yet in part that's what's so great about it all. I sat on my bed at the end of the day sunday and smiled as I thought about how much I love my family.

Hey All

So its been awhile (as usual) since i posted last. Things are a littel odd right now. i have moved to go back to school. Im not living on campus. Which has its perks and its pitfalls. One perk is phone and internet is included, which is something that my offcampus housing is yet to have because stupid aliant couldnt come so today marks my 10th day with out a phone or the internet. i have to come to school to email and thus email is all the communication i have with my family and friends. Thats frustrating. my living arrangments are bit frustrating too. ALthough the price is right, im not sure its right enough for whjat i have. Where i live the "kitchen" is a 2 burner hot plate and a bar fridge. My bathroom ceilings are so low my sisters head nearly skims them. But being that i am BROKE i have to put up with it cause its what i can afford. I am hoping to get an apt with someone next year Lets keep our fingers crossed. im back in the swing a things. I have a paper due tueday, I have that almost done. Handed in my first lab report of the year *ugh* its already begun. But i suppose such is life. I am realizing how pathetic it is. It is friday night and i am sittin in the computer lab on campus. Where is my social life????
Well guys its nice to get back on my dear little blog and chat. I really miss comunication with the outside world. I live in a basement and that is a bout as sad as it gets. lol
Love you
Bon Nuit!!

Inspirational # from superchic[k]

I'm not afraid to fall It means I climbed up high

I might just learn to fly, and I will spread these wings of mine

If I get up I might fall back down again so lets get up C'mon And I might fall back down again But I'll just jump and see Even if its the 20th time I'll just jump and see if I can fly

I'm not afraid to fall And here I told you so Don't want to rock the boat But I just had to know Just a greener side Or can I touch the sky But either way I will have tried

I'm not afraid to fall I've fallen many times They laughed when I fell down But I dared to climb I'm not afraid to fall I know i'll fall again But I can win this in the end!

Roll My Eyes

Some ppl... enough said

The end of an era

So i am now offically an adult. I turned 20, 17 mins ago. I am not in any way scared or put off by this bday, it actually excites me. I saw my new Apt yesterday. Its nothing glamerous by any means but it works for sure. I am hoping that i will have a few vistors from home, you all know who u are, and of course anyone else who lives elsewhere is free to visit as well. So i guess as i say goodbye to an era, i can accept with open arms this new stage in my life. One where i hope to blossem and become a better person, an indivual, the woman i am meant to become. Strong, independent, and confident.
Love to you all,
;)

A Commercial

Did anyone see the 2005 Year of the Veterns comercial??? I saw it today and it really made me think about how much so many men and women have given up for us. Far to often ppl get all up in arms over war and such military things. Believe me, i am not a violent, pro-war kinda girl. But i have to say there are times when it really is nessicary. I shutter to think what life would have been like if we hadnt stepped up to the plate during WWII. How different would Canada be? Would we even be Canada??? I think too of the peacekeeping we have done and how without the use of our military for that how much higher would the death toll be in some of those nations. Im no military expert i dont claim to be, but seeing that commercerial really got me thinking that we dont often ackowlade the sacrifices countless men and women have made throughout the years for the safety and freedom of us, and many others in our would today. Well thats my cause for the day, i'll sigh off now
A beintot,

I watched HITCH tonight. It was a pretty funny movie at times, yet also kinda thought prevoking. U see after all the things that the "date dr." did it was the person being themselves that won there true loves heart. Sweet yes but where am i going with this u might ask? Well it made me realize the importance of being yourself. There is not a formula for fimding someone. And really if thats how you have to get them then is it worth it? Should we not be able to be ourselves? I guess what i mean is . why are we trying so hard to fit a mould, instead we should be ourselves, we might be suprised at what happens!

Hello Lord

Hello Lord, it's me your child
I have a few things on my mind
Right now I'm faced with big decisions
And I'm wondering if you have a minute, cuz
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.
I don't doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to
Hear what you're saying
And to do the right thing
And I desperately want to do the right thing
But right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.
And somewhere in the back of my mind
I think you are telling me to wait
And though patience has never been mine
Lord, I will wait to hear from you
Oh Lord, I'm waiting on you
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I think you're whispering

I don’t want to leave here I don’t want to stay It feels like pinching to me either way The places I long for the most Are the places where I’ve been They are calling after me like a long lost friend
It’s not about losing faith It’s not about trust It’s all about comfortable When you move so much The place I was wasn’t perfect But I had found a way to live It wasn’t milk or honey But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt Leaving out what it lacked The future seems so hard And I want to go back But the places that used to fit me Cannot hold the things I"ve learned And those roads closed off to me While my back was turned The past is so tangible I know it by heart Familiar things are never easy to discard I was dying for some freedom But now I hesitate to go Caught between the promise And the things I know

BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick I may not recognize it Is that the reason behind all this time and sand? If it comes too quick I may not appreciate it Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

Yes i am alive

:D

Ok so i was just casually checking the messages today on the phone when one came from this lady from PE offering me an interview. For those of you unfamiliar with my town thats the nursing home near my house. I am really excited about it. So that's tomorrow at 10 am, prayers welcomed ;) The really exciting thing is this home is part of a lg corporation who has also given me an interview for one of there other sites. Im really excited. Just thought id let ya know, you my e-audience. Anyway the PE job would be a resident attendent. So it would be actual patient interaction so exciting. especially since i wont be able to go back to school in the fall baring a financial miricle i am really looking for something even semi helthcare related. Anyway thats it for me i think. I will for sure update you on my interview.
Je t'aime!

THERE SHE IS!

Ok it has been brought to my attention that i dont post enough, this is true. Its been about a month and a 1/2 since my last post. Ive had a lot goin on since then. I wrote my stats exam, and i have yet to recieve my final grade for that class we will keep our fingers crossed on that one. I have been looking for a new job, :s. Thats not been goin all to well. I have a lead though which i need to look into. ANd as i always, more info will follow on that. I had minor surgery today, noting major, it went fairly well. Im hoping there isnt much scaring, esspecially for my sisters wedding which is coming up soooooo quick!. Any way promise i will post again soon.
Love always!

Tired

Oh man am i ever tired i just got home. I was babysitting, and let me tell you it could make a person NOT want children. Yes it was that bad. Any of you who know me, i typically dont get frazzled by kids, i can take a ton of crap from them, but tonight, i was near my wits end. Aside from that, we had an AWESOME service at church today. It was this "open sunday" well we did this thing where ppl shared a burden and then ppl could come and stand around them and we would pray for them. It symbolized us sharing the burden, wow was it eber powerfull. People were so transparent and open. I was totally moved. At first i was kinda disapointed, not many of my friends were there, but i think it was a good thing in the end. I think i would have been dsistrated, and i wouldnt have wanted to miss out on the wonder the service held. Any way, im beat and i have class in the am, so i will sign off.
love ya ;)

An update

So just a little update for u guys. The other day i did end up going to work, ajd had a pretty awesome day. I had the cutest old man as my patient. He had these huge ears, and the greatest smile. He was trying to call his wife and while he was waiting for it to ring he waould say "comment ca va?... Bein merci" the he laughed "my wife doesnt speak french... neither do I" It was totally cute. We had a good day, at supper tiem when his food came i asked him if he wantewd his meat cut, he replied "yes, u can cut it in half, 1/2 for u, 1/2 for me" It weas really cute, of course i didnt eat it, i told him that it was his , and i was fine. Just different things about my day were good. He was a really great patient, a bit of a "busy" guy, but it was fine, i didnt mind.
Ryan and i did get to watch our movie, i got up at 1030, i havent been feeling well so i took the opportunity to sleep in. Anyway, i got up, we ordered wings form swiss chalet for breakfast, then watched sipderman one and two. SOOOO good, totally had underestimated it as a movie. I DID enjoy it. i worked on a sewin project in the evening, yeah i know im such a domestic person, its sad , or really good depends on how you look at it, in any case i am. So my current project is a scrub set, for when i eventually start nursing clinical, whenevr the frigg that is, lol. I have about 1-1.5 hours worht of work left MAX. I will try to post a pic of the finished product, unless they turn out bad, lol then you will never see it. Althoug i think it'll be fine. I like the pants, so i cant see them being to bad. Mind you no scrubs are really extreamly flattering. Its just the nature of them i guess. As i always say though, good thjing its not a fashion show. Any way, then my second project which will take a bit longer, is a quilt. I love quilts, love them. SO im makin one. Im taking the reminents of the fabric from various sewing projects, and using them to make my quilt. I will probably have to suplm,ent with some other fabric though cause i diont really havbe a big enough supply of reminents yet. If you have any cotton/ poly cotton pieces you wnt to donate to my cause i will take them lol. I may just go to walmart or fabricville and buy sime of there reminent pices that you can buy, u know the littel strips they sell that are rolled up, just to suppliment what i have. Any way, thats my "little" update. Have a good one.
Bon Nuit!
hehe ok so that jsut reminded me of this old sesame street vingette, where this man pulls down his blind and says "bonnuit" then it rolls back up, then he pulls it back down, again saying "bon nuit!" this time a little more forcefull, anyway, thats my littel bit of weirdness showing through. Good night!

So much for that

Ok so, tonight Ryan, my bro in law, and i had planed this awsome night. A spiderman marathon, and food. Ben and jerrys, wings, chips, pop. It was gonna be really fun, i was lookinmg froward to it. Then, as we were jsut gettin settled into the movie, mom comes home anouncing that they need to take the VCR, So that leaves us with nothin. I was disapointed. FRIG! Oh we;ll we are saying we'll postpon it so it had better work out for tomorrow. It sure better!. Ok so thats my littel rant for tonight. Enjoy your friday, im not. Ok that sounded bitterm, and im not . Honest. Love ya!

Cave of Adullam

Speak to me, speak to me in my cave of Adullam. Reach to me, reach to me. No one cares for my soul. I thought I saw your kingdom, but it's not going to happen like I thought it would happen. . Remind me, remind me of the vision you gave me. Remind me, remind me what anointing oil is for. I need to know you're near me. I need to know you are holding me just as closely . Chorus: as the day you took my life and gave me a vision, as the day you poured the oil and gave me a dream. I can't believe this is happening. How does a shepherd become a king?

I just dont know

Sittting here, i got home 10mins ago. Intersting night. DOnt know really how to sum up my thoughts. Really have so much to say, yet no way of saying it, or realy just cant . Wanted to post, get soem stuff off my chest, but now that im here cant find th words to say it. Things for me aere interesting right now. Alot goin on in this head of mine, sp many thoughts, so many feelings, so, just well... i dont know. I know this doesnt make sense for u my e-audience, sorry bout that. Well its not getting any earlier i suppose, and alas morning will come so very quick, so i guess i should sing off, lalalala, hehe ok im a dork, i meant sign off then i got carried away with my typo. SOme days i wonder if im on crack. Anyway, off to process my brain
Je vous aimez!
PS, leaving things in God's hands is not as easy as one might think, but its worked thus far, now its just a matter of letting it happen again. Thanks for listening to my ramble,
Love and Hugs,
Me